Gentle Discipline – or not??


This is my life

I’m not going to lie, life has been crazy these days and the above quote sums it up pretty well.  We are almost at our wits end with trying to find what works and what doesn’t when it comes to disciplining Hunter.  He is such a sweet child, he is loving, sensitive and very spirited. Did I mention VERY spirited?  Here’s the deal, yes, he used to get 110% of our attention and then BAM! another one comes along and he’s no longer #1, yes, we know this but, the reaction on most days to him not getting the attention he used to is becoming quite a problem in the Wildman household.

Is it the lack of attention?

Is it the terrible 3’s everyone warned us about?

Is he overtired?

I don’t know. I wish I did.  If I could get into his head when he acts out, I’d imagine he was thinking this

Hitting, kicking and blatantly misbehaving have become quite the norm these days and it’s wearing on us. Where did my sweet child go?

So, here’s the skinny. We have the kids on a pretty solid schedule now and part of that schedule involves mommy and Hunter time where we do crafts, play with cars or whatever he wants. I give him this time, my undivided time, everyday to ensure he gets quality time with mom. On the weekends, we try to do one thing that is just Hunter and mommy. So, is it lack of attention? Not sure.

Hunter has a very difficult time, always has, with bedtime. We finally have a routine where he can play for a designated amount of time in his room before bed and then its lights out. Problem is, he is incredibly manipulative and knows just how to get us. Our fault for giving in? Perhaps. He rarely stays in his bed all night and has a designated mattress in our room just for him. (yes, we co-sleep with both our kids and don’t mind it….more on this in another post). I say we don’t mind it but now we are beginning to wonder if lack of good quality sleep could be the cause of his misbehaving? Guess we won’t know until we try but we are too tired to start trying to keep him in his room all night…screaming toddler wakes sleeping (thankfully) baby? no thanks, not sure I want to lose anymore sleep. BUT in the long run, I know this will benefit us, especially when we decide to put Parker in his own room and finally be able to enjoy our king size bed to ourselves. Isaac has his limits, more on this in my co-sleeping post to come.

Perhaps we need to tape this to his door to remind us that it will be worth it in the end?

If indeed, his misbehavior is due to lack of quality sleep, we need to continually remind ourselves that the short-term pain is worth the long-term gain.

Then comes the tricky part – discipline. We have tried the quiet corner where he can go to calm down, read a book or play with some calming toys. To no avail. We have tried time outs, we both end up laughing because it’s a big joke to him. We have tried “you have two choices” to no avail. Lately, it’s taking one of his million toys away, to no avail. I am seriously lost as to what to do and how to control my wild child.

Perhaps the answer is focus. FOCUS on one thing at a time.
1. sleep
2. more mommy/hunter time
3. discipline tactics

I am reading the book Positive Discipline and feel I give it my all, hugs, love, no spanking (well, DUH!), no closed-door time outs,etc.

Perhaps what I should do is listen to my intuition and my heart and do what works for us….I just need to figure out what that “works for us” is first. Hmmm.

Do you have any suggestions for us? Things that have worked for you?

Breathe……

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Categories: Mothering | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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